family dynamics

It all started when…

During high school, it seemed that no one understood me. My parents did not agree with any of the decisions I made so I was angry and frustrated and would often lash out at them. During college, I seldom went home. Now I’m a college graduate and I have a good job, but there is an emptiness because of the lack of communication with my family. I want to have a better relationship with my parents.

When a Parent Has BPD

You may have grown up with a parent who had a BPD. Maybe you didn’t realize it at the time, but now that you’re an adult, you are recognizing the damage that was done.

Right now you need to recognize that your parent did not choose to have this disorder and you cannot expect your parent to change. Your parent may not be aware of how inappropriate his/her actions are or understand what is an acceptable way to treat other people.

A child of a parent with BPD may often suffer from feelings of guilt and obligation which can get stronger as your parent ages and relies more on you.

Because having a parent with a personality disorder can leave you with painful wounds, it is important that you get help. You can learn how to form a type of relationship with your parent.

Some recommended books are “Missing: Coming to Terms with a Borderline Mother” or “Understanding a Borderline Mother.”